"Engage With Others!" Coaching
Designing intentional relationships
What can "Engage With Others!" Coaching do for you?
Are you starting a new relationship and wanting to build it on a solid foundation? Or do you have a long-lasting relationship you would like to transform? Maybe it has been damaged by some past interactions. Or maybe it feels good… but you want more! This could be a romantic relationship, a business partnership, or a friendship. The nature of the relationship does not matter as much as the commitment from all parties to create a deeper connection intentionally. In any case, let’s work together!
“Engage With Others!” Coaching is my offering to support you in designing intentionally the Relationships that you want.
“Engage With Others” Coaching plays at two levels: first – of course – it aims to help you shape that specific relationship you come for. Second, this framework goes much deeper by giving you the tools to empower your to design and shape all your other relationships. From that perspective, this is a transformational journey toward a version of you that know their needs and desires, can articulate them clearly, and can intentionally elaborate relationships that feel good for everyone.
“Engage With Others!” Coaching is about more than helping you to shape one specific relationship.
It is about giving you the tools and mindset to design all your relationships.
What is "Engage With Others!" Coaching?
“Engage With Others!” Coaching aims to help two people (or more) intentionally design their relational dynamic. It is a series of coaching that involve all parties.
Although we will be working on that specific relationship, “Engage With Others!” is about personal transformation and giving you the capacity to transform all the relationships in your Life.
Too often, I witness people holding back in relationships. Society and our education taught us to conform, compromise, and bury our desires.
“Engage With Others!” is about fully expressing yourself, your needs, and your desires, and creating a deeper connection from there. It roots itself in 3 basic pillars:
- “Self-Awareness” is about knowing yourself: your needs, your desires, your stories, your assumptions, your shadows.
- “Authenticity” is the space of Courage to express with ownerships everything that was identified in “Self-Awareness”.
- “Integration” is about using this new clarity to establish a deeper connection with others and then design some concrete practices in your day-to-day life to foster this new depth.
Too often, I witness people holding back in relationships.
“Engage With Others!” is about connecting from a fully expressed self.
What are we committing to?
A coaching relationship is a deep connection in which we both lean at 100%. “Engage With Others!” is special as it requires all the parties to lean in at 100%!
We will design a specific alliance that will maximize the efficiency of coaching; the following commitments will be the base of this relationship.
My commitments
- Openness & Curiosity for who you are: Beyond the relationship, “Engage With Others!” is a wonderful opportunity to explore who you are. I commit to bringing openness & curiosity to create a space where you can get in touch with your essence.
- Unconditional support for the relationship you want to design: I commit to creating a very exploratory space with no “should” or “right or wrong”. The relationship you want to build can have an infinity of variations, and anything you want to build is welcome.
- Hold you with care and love: let’s be honest, relationships are often messy! And that uncertainty can create a lot of doubt, fear, resentment, and more. I commit to being with you in your process, in the ups and the downs, as they all have a play in your growth and steps toward fulfillment.
Your commitments
- Courage: relationships can bring up a lot! You commit to being real and sharing your authentic self.
- Connection: as difficult as a situation can be, you commit to staying in connection with this other human being that is doing their best to stay in connection with you as well
- Self-love and Self-care: we leave the judge at the door. This is about experimenting and dancing with one another. This is a creation process, and creation is often messy!
“Engage With Others!” requires all the parties to lean in at 100%.
I commit to Openness & Curiosity for who you are, Unconditional Support, and Care & Love.
You commit to Courage, Connection, and Self-Love & Self-Care
What is the investment?
$300 / month for 2, 45 mins sessions
$500 / month for 4, 45 mins sessions
No long-term engagement, no constraints, you are in control
I want you to feel empowered to express your needs. You can ask to modify or end our coaching relationship at any time.
What is the next step?
Let’s get to know each other, book a complimentary session!
The goal of this discovery session is to get a sense of what you would like to get out of coaching and see if my style would be a good fit for you. The relationship between the coach & the coachee will greatly influence the efficacy of the coaching, and we want to make sure we have good chemistry!
What people are saying about "Engage With Life!" Coaching
“We had the pleasure of doing some couples coaching with Ben and we both appreciated his ability to help us uncover and comfortably discuss underlying issues.
We are very grateful to have Ben as a coach and would highly recommend working with him.“
– Joshua & Amanda
What if I’m not sure (or one of us)?
A fundamental prerequisite of starting “Engage With Others!” Coaching is that both people in the relationship are fully committed and onboard.
This work will generate change and invite you to reveal your needs and desires.
A couple of obstacles can raise:
- Internal ambivalence: some parts of you are willing to start this work, and others are resistant.
- Relational dissonance: one of you is more willing to start the work than the other.
Guided practice: working with internal ambivalence and relational dissonance
This apparent internal conflict and disconnect is actually a wonderful opportunity to get to know yourself and each other better. I would like to invite you to do the following simple 4 steps exercise to explore this
Step 1: Connect to self
Find a comfortable configuration for you and the other person. It can be sitting in front of each other, at a table, or on a couch. Make sure to create a cozy and private space and to have at least 30 mins without interruption in front of you.
Start by connecting with yourself by going inward. You might close your eyes if this helps you, or keep them open if you prefer. Scan your body with a genuine curiosity: What physical sensations do you experience right now? Take the perspective of an observer coming with compassion and no agenda to change anything. When you feel ready, switch to looking at your emotions. What are you feeling right now? Again, just as an observer. You might notice that your emotions are changing a lot, and that’s ok. Finally, pay attention to your thoughts: what are they? what is the quality of your mind right now? Is it calm and relaxed? Or agitated?
When you feel ready, reconnect with the other person and share in a few sentences what you noticed: even if your experience might shift, this is a reflection of what you bring in the relational space right now. Remember that everything is welcome!
Step 2: Connect to other
Now, each of you will be sharing 3 (or more) things that the other person does in the relationship and that you appreciate. Use the sentence stem:
“Something that you do and I appreciate is …”
For example:
- Something that you do and appreciate is that you always listen to me carefully. I feel very safe when you do that.
- Something that you do and appreciate is that you always have some snacks on you in case I get hungry. Each time you give me one, I feel cared for.
Step 3: Sharing your excited parts
Each of you will now share how they hope “Engage With Others!” coaching will help the relationship.
For example:
- I really would like to do this coaching so I feel I can let my silly and playful part out more often
- I really would like to do this coaching so I feel I can ask for help when I need to and be sure you will support me if you can
Please note that you might have no excited part at this point, which is ok. Just name it!
Step 4: Sharing your resistant parts
Each of you will now share what creates resistance to do the “Engage With Others!” coaching. It is primordial for the other person to only listen, even if it sounds not rational. Do not try to convince them. Once they are done, ask them what they might need to be a full yes.
For example:
Alice: I’m afraid that we will start and just give up after a few weeks because we are so busy and that will be another disappointment
Bob: So you feel concerned that we would just give up after a few weeks, which would bring some disappointment and have a need for us to create some sort of commitment? Is that correct?
Alice: Yes, I need for us to have a real commitment to do at least 8 sessions
If one of you is still unsure after this conversation, that’s ok. First celebrate that by having this conversation, you are already doing the work! Congratulations!
Then, I would invite you to book the complimentary session with me so we can explore together and help you find some clarity.